Driving Test

I failed. Let’s get it out there. I must say I was absolutely gutted. I’d felt quite excited about it at one point, picturing myself holding the certificate, even considering what I should wear for the photo!

I was so looking forward to telling my husband and daughter, particularly as I hadn’t told my daughter. What a great surprise that would have been!

Am I glad I took the test though? Definitely. It goes quick doesn’t it! I now understand the formula and hopefully won’t feel as nervous. I shall be booking the next one in today, let’s not hang around!

My husband tried to make me laugh yesterday by asking what Chumbawumba would say. Tequila, it makes me happy? Oh no, the other one…

Tim Burgess: St Paul’s, Worthing

As I sit on the train on a miserable Monday morning, I reflect on the weekend. Dry January is over and I’m off to see Tim Burgess!

I first saw Tim with The Charlatans at least 20 years ago at Rock City in Nottingham. I thought that was the last time until my husband reminded me we had seen them at Brighton Dome, sorry Tim 😬

To add to the excitement of a night out for just me and my husband, we thought it would be fun to book a cheap hotel for the night. We then wouldn’t have to worry about disturbing the in-laws when we got back. Cheap, certainly not cheerful.

So far, I’d only had a glass of Prosecco, didn’t want to show myself up after a month of not drinking, plus I had a driving lesson the next day. Of course, they didn’t have that in the venue, so it was onto lager.

The venue was beautiful, a church with amazing ceilings and plenty of space. Before Tim came on, indie music was playing and I thought, this would be perfect for an indie disco!

The crowd was probably about my age, if not a bit older. This seems to be the case now with most gigs I go to now which is fine, we’re all clinging on together! Also mostly men, seemingly more excited at seeing Tim than you would perhaps think, particularly the man who insisted on waving to him all night. It was as if he had an important message he needed to give him: “Tim, you left your straighteners on! Tim, did you feed the dog?!”

The taxi driver even told me there were lots of men out tonight, as he repeatedly apologised for calling me “fella”.

Tim’s lovely, singing as if he’s a child being allowed to play out in the snow, rosy cheeks and beaming wide smile. Even when the feedback was unbearable, he kept smiling until sorted.

Wearing a boiler suit and trainers with his now trademark bleached Andy Warhol style hair, Tim’s looking ageless. I have to say I didn’t know all of his songs, but I was certainly happy to watch. There were no Charlatans songs but I did catch a Culture Club cover. Who knew?

We had been told that after the gig, Tim would be out to sign his albums. So, like the giddy gig goers we are, we waited. True to form, Tim came over. You could say he ran over. He then took control of selling and signing his vinyl before posing for the obligatory photo. Now with his bobble hat on, he’s looking even more pleased with himself, particularly when he meets my husband 😆

With the gig over, what to do next on our crazy night out? We walk past a couple of grim looking pubs, one with a massive queue and decide to head back to the hotel. Enough excitement for one night!

The hotel is horrible but it’s time to ourselves and is perfectly located on the seafront. So, after a cup of tea and a bit of Graham Norton, it’s off to bed.

What a nice mid-forties night out!

More about me

Now that I am an international blogger (8 followers I’ll have you know) I thought you might be interested to know a bit more about me. No? Too bad. I’m telling you.

I am mid-forties, that bit I’m sure you’ve guessed. I work full-time, commuting 4 days a week, which believe me, can take its toll.

My life really does focus on my family who I love dearly but it certainly has its ups and downs. It’s hard being a wife and it’s hard being a mum. Both me and my husband work hard during the week, and love the time we get at the weekend to spend with our daughter. Football plays a huge part, taking her to games and training.

Music plays a huge part in my life and I look forward to telling you about my favourite gigs and bands.

I’m still learning to drive! It really feels like it has been forever but I finally have my test booked. I can’t wait to tell you that I’ve passed, it really will be life changing.

Part of my reason for starting this blog was to feel that I have an outlet, a place where I can share what is going on with me. Selfish maybe, but I sincerely hope that by sharing, I will make you laugh, understand that you are not alone and encourage you to share too. 

Welcome!

Getting out there

I have shared my blog! I have sought as much advice as I think I can at this stage and put it out there. I have even set up an exclusive Twitter page, @mid_fortiesmum. Go me! I still have loads of questions about how this whole blogging thing works but I guess it’s a case of giving it a go. Now that people can see it, they can also comment on it and I’m hoping, give me some good feedback.

Here’s an update on what’s gone before then. My daughter is still playing football, I’m still learning to drive (test booked though🤞🏻) and I’m still commuting. Still so much to talk to you about!

What am I doing?

I don’t know why I’m writing a blog or even is this blog? I had the idea that this would be some kind of outlet for me where I could share my feelings but maybe also amuse or support others.

So far, not much has happened. I’m too scared to share it on social media and I’m not writing regularly. I’ve asked a friend to have a look at it for me, give me her thoughts on the layout and content. Also, what are the rules of blogging, if any? Hopefully in the coming weeks I’ll get some helpful feedback and can finally take the plunge!

Football Mum

My daughter has played football for many years now. She plays for a local team, her school and also a football academy. It has become a massive part of all of our lives. I must say though that over the last couple of months it feels different. Better, exciting. It feels like we’re part of something, a community, a movement even?

My husband watches endless football and I have never been interested. What is it about women’s football? It’s the excitement of seeing something grow, being involved and watching your daughter develop into a confident, strong, active young woman. Playing as part of a team has such a great impact on the girls, feeling part of something, knowing that others have the same passion. I know the impact it has had on me. I’ve volunteered to manage the Twitter activity, what next? Bring it on!

Intense driving

So my (now ex) driving instructor told me that he was “sorry to be vague” but that he couldn’t possibly tell me how many more lessons I would need before taking my test. What? We would just know when we got there. Huh? I’m sorry but that is some kind of instructor speak for “I’ll keep taking your money for as long as possible” surely? Imagine any other kind of teacher saying, “sorry to be vague” but I can’t tell you if you’re ready for your GCSEs, we’ll just have to see. Where’s the responsibility and confidence in your abilities as an instructor?

Anyway, suffice to say I have been in touch with a driving school that specialise in intense driving courses. I’m just so sick of learning! I have an assessment lesson on Friday where they will then recommend the right intense course for me. It could be over 3 days or a week, depends what I need. I’m not sure where I’ll find the money but it has to be done. It’s crazy to think I could be driving in a matter of weeks 🤞

Life of a commuter

I certainly don’t have the worst commute. I travel along the south coast, seeing some amazing scenery along the way and am lucky to have a train gang who I travel with on most days.

But nobody chooses a commute do they? Nobody chooses to extend their working day by 3 hours, to worry about delays and crowded trains, and the unnecessary waiting around. There’s also the cost of traveling. Again, as I don’t commute into London it could be worse but the money I spend on traveling I could certainly use elsewhere!

Commuting has also had quite an impact on my relationship, surprisingly. Previously, my husband and I worked similar shifts, arriving home at similar times. Now, I’m the first to leave the house and the last to return. My husband now walks the dog in the morning and sees to dinner and anything else in the evening.

Now don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t be cooking, even if I were at home! I’m awful, to the extent I think I have a slight fear of it! For my husband though, it’s the fact that he works as much as I do but has the added responsibility of mornings and evenings. The difficulty we have though is that’s not going to change any time soon, so we’re going to have to adjust. He will work away every so often so I then have that responsibility as well as my 12 hour day. Swings and roundabouts.

What I find fascinating about the commute is how familiar we become with other people but yet knowing nothing about them. There are the furious keyboard bangers, tapping away as if their lives depended on it, telling us, “I really should have done this yesterday.” The sleepers, how do they do it? I wish I could. The make up putter onners, again how do they do it? And there are the odd ones. The woman who requested me as a friend on Facebook but has completely ignored me on the train. What’s all that about?

There is something about the train that saps all of our human instincts, like smiling, chatting, making eye contact. Can’t possibly happen on the train!

What about those people that have to conduct their really important conversations on the train? Do we really need to hear it, but should we be hearing it? I feel a bit awkward knowing somebody is facing the sack before they do!

Hopefully before long I’ll be driving, and then I can moan about the drive to work instead and no doubt miss the simplicity of sitting on a train watching the world go by.

44 and learning to drive.

Anyone out there also learning to drive? God it’s hard. Hard for lots of reasons. Knowing that lots of 18 year olds can do it, that my brain clearly doesn’t work in the same way as my instructor but mainly hard because I want it so bad! Being able to drive is going to be life changing, particularly as my husband has no intention of learning. So it’s down to me!

My daughter plays a lot of sport so I need to be able to take her to matches and not keep relying on the parents in law. Someone once said to me that when your daughter calls you in the middle of the night to say she doesn’t know where she is, you need to be able to go and get her. Not call a taxi or ask for a lift. That stuck with me.

I really wish I had learnt when I was younger but I genuinely didn’t feel the need. I lived in big cities that had cheap, reliable public transport and I would never have been able to afford to learn or run a car. So the decision was made for me really.

Now though what I have is the fear. I think I’m a good driver but I worry about everything! To the extent it can stop me doing the most basic things. I second guess myself and need reassurance from my instructor, but if you asked me to talk you through a manoeuvre I could. I just need to get on with it, I know that. But I have the fear; the test, failing, driving on my own if I pass, having my daughter in the car for the first time, it goes on.

How do I get past that? Maybe today was just a bad day and next week will be better.