A year in the life of

It’s time to write again. Believe me, I know it’s been too long. Then I got caught up in the “well it’s Christmas soon” and “I could do a review of the year” so here I am, 7 January 2020 with no excuse. A review of the year does seem a good idea mind.

2019 was certainly a year that I think a lot of us won’t (although we might want to) forget. For me, a lot changed. I passed my driving test as you know, which has truly been life changing. Yes, I still hate it at times but there is no denying the difference it has made to our lives.

I changed jobs. The commute is no more! This has made a massive difference to mine and my family’s life. My daughter is not the last to leave in the morning, I walk to work and I’m back at a reasonable hour. I love it and really hope it lasts. It’s a fixed term contract so we’ll have to see what happens.

Relationships have been tough in 2019, I have truly been tested, as I know my husband and daughter will have been too. Parenting a teenager is probably one of the hardest things I’ve done. I’ve done lots of reading on the matter and understand totally how tough it is for that teenager. I don’t deny the love she has for me, in fact she tells me everyday. She is beautiful, kind, funny, loving, sporty, intelligent, all the things she always has been. That doesn’t mean it’s not tough when she shoots you a look, rolls her eyes or just doesn’t acknowledge you. It’s very difficult to maintain that role of parent sometimes when your natural instinct is to mirror that behaviour.

As a family of 3 (not including the dog before you ask), it can feel very competitive at times. I know that I can feel left out if my daughter and husband seem to be having fun or sharing a private joke. I had to accept the other day that I think I’m jealous. I try to keep things on the straight and narrow most of the time and that can seem boring. I feel boring. Sometimes I wish I could lighten up, relax but then I remind myself that boring me is necessary. Boring me serves a purpose.

This then takes it toll on your own relationship. You both love this person so much it feels like your heart could break and yet it can feel that you’re further apart then ever. I know that we’ve done that thing that all parents say they will never do. Put our child in the middle. She’s telling us to grow up, and she’s right.

2019 has also been amazing in lots of ways. We’ve seen some great bands as always, festival, holiday, we really can’t complain. 2020 does feel though like it could be the year of growing up. How much of a cliche is that? A massive one, but I do think it’s true.

As for many people, 2019 opened my eyes to lots of things and I’m not ashamed to say it. Politics, climate, war, we cannot ignore the impact that this year has had and will continue to have on all of us. Walking around my city is heartbreaking on a daily basis. I feel pity, anger, shame, sometimes disgust, often all before I’ve got to work.

Much as 2019 felt really tough at times, I also sensed massive positivity from those around me and that is a brilliant feeling. A sense that we can come back from this, that 2020 has something to offer. That could just be wishful thinking of course, but what else is there? The real belief that things can get better.

To talk to you about the whole of my year would indeed confirm just how boring I can be. I do hope though that’s it’s given you some insight into how things have been for me over the year .

I hope that you are all well and looking after yourselves. I really will try harder to write more and to work more on my social media and “getting myself out there”. If you like reading my blogs, please share, retweet, like, and tell your friends! Until next time…